It was a long, hot, sweaty day, my last day in New York, ending with a late-evening trip to the airport, and a flight just before midnight to London. By the time I reached London, at noon the next morning, I was pretty wiped out, since I'd only slept a couple of hours on the plane. It was warm and sticky in London too, though nowhere near as bad as New York. As I waited for my rental car, I was in one of those crotchety bad moods that come from plain old fatigue.

I was a little bit shaky on the roads, since I couldn't quite judge where the left side of the car was in relation to the kerb and the other cars that whizzed past frighteningly close. But somehow I made it to my sister's flat in St Albans, where I met my Dad and we drove over, together, to my other sister's house where I'll stay for the next two weeks. The first time I see Dad during my visit each year I'm shocked by how old he looks. After a while, though, I adjust, and he just seems like my Dad again.

So I'm staying with Kirstie and her long-time boyfriend Paul in St Albans. They were still at work so once Dad had taken off, there was just me alone in the house, apart from their crazy dog Kim. If Kim would just stay still for a second, there'd be an echoing suburban silence, particularly in contrast to the previous week in New York. It was a silence conduicive to sleeping though, which is what I did for the couple of hours until Kirstie and Paul came back from work.

My sister's crazy dog, Kim, in a comparitively mild mood

We had a very quiet evening at home, with Kirstie cooking dinner. I played chess with Paul; my first chess game in years and years. Fortunately, Paul is a complete beginner so I was able to dispatch him with relative ease. After dinner, though, as they watched "Big Brother" on TV, I was completely fading away from jetlag, and retired early.

I woke up this morning to an absolutely beautiful Summer's day. It could not have been more lovely. I drove over to my Dad's house and we drove together to the residential hospital for the elderly where my Mom has been for the last three weeks. Once we got out of the car, I was struck by the peaceful setting, with the songbirds and crows singing through the trees. But I knew that seeing my Mom would be difficult. She's in the hospital for observation to decide whether the time has come for her to be instituionalized. We walked into the communal room where my first sight was of very frail, old men and women raising their arms in the air, exercising with a staff-member. I was surprised by how poorly everybody looked. I guess I didn't expect to see my Mom in such surroundings. She was to one side, fast asleep, and she looked much more frail than I expected. As she woke slowly, I don't think she at first even knew who my Dad was, and I felt a sudden stab of emotion that I couldn't even name.

But I know how I am if I'm woken up suddenly, and, after a few minutes, she seemed a lot better than had been my initial impression. The three of us went for a walk in the garden, and she strode forth straight as a rod. From behind, in her pants, you wouldn't have known she was a sick old woman. The saddest part was when we had to leave. My Dad mentioned that we were going to meet my sisters for lunch, and then had to explain why she couldn't come with us. Each day, she forgets that she's not free to leave with my Dad, and it was sad to see how wretchedly unhappy she felt when she realized she had to stay behind when we left.

In the park with my Dad and my sisters

I had another long lie in bed in the afternoon, after lunch with my Dad and my sisters, and felt quite depressed when I woke up. But a game of chess against my sister cheered me up. She's as much a beginner as Paul is, but obviously is going to develop into a good player. She gave me some worries before I was able to checkmate her. Then, in the fading light of the evening, Kirstie and I took the dog for a walk across the beautiful, wild parkland just down the street. It was such a comforting feeling, walking slowly through the fields with my adorable baby sister, the English countryside opening up as we gained height, a lark singing overhead, and the red/orange light of the setting sun.

Evening walk with the dog

Beautiful England at dusk