THE CLEANING LADY FROM CHINA
A Short Project for Screenwriting Class
FADE IN
EXT. -- APARTMENT BALCONY -- AFTERNOON
SALLY, short, fat, middle-aged, Chinese, sits on the balcony, legs on the
outside, looking anxiously down at the ground, twenty floors beneath. BRAD, late
twenties yuppie, rushes through the door.
BRAD
Oh my God, Sally, what are you doing?
Sally doesn't respond. She looks down and gets ready to jump.
BRAD
Sally, can't we talk about this?
SALLY
Nothing to say. I go now.
BRAD
No Sally, please don't. How's this going to look if you
jump from my balcony? Couldn't you jump from somebody
elses?
SALLY
(crying)
You no care. You just want clean. Clean, clean, clean!
BRAD
Sally, I'm sorry, I was just joking. I mean about you
jumping from somebody else's balcony. You can jump from
mine if you want. But at least tell me why.
SALLY
You no want to hear.
BRAD
Well, you're right about that. But I'll listen anyway if
it will stop you from jumping.
SALLY
Okay, I tell you, but then I jump.
BRAD
Well, I'd really rather you didn't jump. But I guess
it's a deal.
SALLY
My husband. He very sick. I no take any more. I kill
myself.
BRAD
I'm very sorry to hear that Sally. That must be hard to
bear. What's he dying of?
SALLY
Cancer of the brain.
Brad sits on the balcony beside her, but on the inside. He takes out a CIGARETTE
CASE and LIGHTER and lights a CIGARETTE.
BRAD
You want one?
Sally cries more.
BRAD
No, perhaps not. Listen Sally. I thought you told me
last year that your husband had polio. Now he has cancer
too?
SALLY
He cured. Polio gone, now cancer.
BRAD
I see. Cancer, huh? The medical bills must be expensive.
All those dialysis treatments, right?
SALLY
Very expensive.
(struggling to pronounce the word)
Dialysis treatments.
BRAD
Yes, those darned dialysis treatments. Is that why
you're jumping - because you can't afford the dialsysis
treatment for your husband's brain cancer?
SALLY
Me no afford. Very expensive.
BRAD
Yes, and you have your invalid brother, and your aged
mother to support too, don't you? What is it that your
brother has again? Wasn't it a brain tumor? That's a
horrible coincidence - both your husband and your
brother with growths in the brain. Maybe they use cell
phone too much?
SALLY
(wailing)
What I did to deserve this!
BRAD
Okay, okay, please stop crying. Here's what I'm going to
do for you. I'll increase your wages by $30 a day. Will
that help?
SALLY
Oh yes sir, that make big difference. You very good to
me sir.
(She makes to climb back over the balcony.)
BRAD
Wait! Not so fast. I haven't finished yet. There are
some conditions.
SALLY
(staying put on the outside of the balcony)
Oh.
BRAD
Yes. Well, first, this is the last time I increase your
wages, okay? I don't care how many more sick relatives
you acquire, nor how many disastrous household incidents
and floods swamp your life. No more floods or life-
threatening illnesses, agreed?
SALLY
Well. I no promise. Fate comes, fate goes, I no can say
what happens.
BRAD
Sally! If you want to jump, please go right ahead, I
won't stop you.
SALLY
Okay, okay. Me no tell you any more when my life fall
apart. What else?
BRAD
Okay. Now hold on a moment.
Brad leaves the balcony and vanishes into the apartment.
BRAD (OS)
I'll be right back, don't go anywhere.
Brad returns and sits on the balcony again, holding a DUST CLOTH. He reaches out
and waves it in front of her face.
BRAD
Sally, this is a dust cloth. It's used for dusting. I
want you to use it. I've been asking you for months.
When you're finished out there on the ledge, come into
the apartment and see my stereo. It's thick with dust.
You need to dust every surface in the apartment! Every
week. Is that clear?
SALLY
Okay, I dust. Is that all?
BRAD
Not quite. One more thing - well two more, really.
First, you know when I leave you quarters for you to do
my laundry? Well, those quarters are for my laundry
only. It's funny that no matter how many quarters I
leave you, they all end up getting used. I've been
adding to the number of quarters I leave you, each week,
just to see how far you'd go. I don't care whose else
laundry you're washing with my fucking quarters, but
that stops. From now on, you use precisely five dollars
in quarters, no more, is that understood?
SALLY
(nodding)
Five dollar. No need to swear at me Mr Brad. Me no like
that.
BRAD
Sorry, Sally. My apologies. And last but not least. I
don't need any new stuff. It was just bearable that that
scruffy vacuum cleaner suddenly appeared in my closet. I
guess I needed a vacuum cleaner, and I was willing to
pay the fifty bucks you asked. But then, that blender?
And that disgusting bedside lamp? And the wine glasses?
No more rescuing other peoples' filthy belonging and
extorting me to pay for them. You can find another home
for them. I don't need my cleaning lady to add home
decoration to her duties - I just need her to start
dusting. Got it?
SALLY
Mr Brad. I sorry. Can I come in now?
BRAD
Yes, come in you silly old bat. Let me give you a hand.
Brad leans out to put his arm around her back. Sally slips, and flings both her
arms around Brad's outstretched back. She clings on for dear life, struggling.
Brad is pulled out over the top of the balcony and they fall.
BRAD (OS)
You're fired.
FADE OUT